Britney Forgets Court, Opts for Time with British Voice Coach Instead

Today is the day for the newest big Britney custody hearing. The attorney’s have advised her that she needs to be there. Her care package of Cheetos, Doritos, and Starbucks has been packed. She should be all ready to go. Her wig was even brushed out by her new boyfriend and was ready to go on the bedside table. Yet Britney still hasn’t shown up. What gives?

K-Fed dragged his playa ass out of bed to make the trip to the courthouse. The lawyers all showed up, too. Hell, even the judge decided to come. Yet Britney just didn’t seem to make it – at least, not yet.

Sources for People Magazine claim that Britney has no intention of heading to the hearing today. This is a direct slap in the face to her attorney’s, who informed her that it was incredibly important that she be at the hearing today. After all, the purpose of this hearing is to look at Brit’s recent meltdown and to determine whether or not any rights should be reinstated to the messed up mommy now that K-Fed has been given sole custody of little Sean Preston and Jayden James.

Personally, I think they should allow Britney to just call in. After all, with her busy pop-star career actually going to court can be such a hassle whether it’s for a DUI or custody of your kids. Anyone can work a phone, even Britney, so why not cut her some slack? Besides, the calls would be seriously amusing. I can just picture them now:

County Court Agent: “Hello, Ms. Spears we are ready to connect you with the courtroom.”

Spears: “Who is this? I already have a subscription to Us Weekly. Did you see what them sumbitches said bout me ya’ll?”

Court Agent: “No Ma’am I am not selling magazines. This is about your children. Remember? You have a court hearing today.”

Spears: “Do you know who this is? What kids are you talking about? Is this the FBI? Nothing is wrong with me, Doctor Phil…if you are even a doctor that is. For all I know your first name is fucking Doctor.”

Court Agent: “What are you on lady? I am calling about your hearing for your kids. Sean and Jayden. You know, Sean Preston and Jayden James? Your kids!”

Spears (in her best British Accent): “Just leave me alone! I have a 10:30 appointment with my My Little Ponies.”

Speaking of British accents, check out the following clip of Britney and her wannabe British potty mouth telling the paparazzi to fuck off and leave her the hell alone.

Technorati Tags: Britney Spears, Custody Case, No Show, Sean Preston, Jayden James, Kevin Federline, KFed, British Accent, Cracked Out Celebrities, Custody Hearing

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Written by Ashtyn - Visit Website
Ashtyn is definitely the casual gamer in the family. A game fan since she owned an Atari, Ashtyn can remember when her brother rigged the television so he wouldn't lose his Super Mario Bros. game. That is, until the power went out! A fan of all things Mario, Ashtyn is a Nintendo loyalist. She digs playing Mario-style RPG games, watching others play violent shooters (because she sucks at them), and playing casual PC games (like Wedding Dash and Cake Mania). As of now, she is into the Wii and Nintendo DS, though she's certain the games for PS3 and Xbox 360 are more appealing.