When I think of becoming Paris (Crotch Rocket) Hilton’s best friend it makes me want to vomit a little in my mouth. Once I’ve cleaned that up, I have to consider how many other things I would rather have happen to me instead. For example, I would rather be anally invaded by the nose of a jet than have to be seen with Hilton.
However, the idea that there is going to be an entire show around this concept just frightens me. In some ways it makes me laugh. I Wanna Be Paris’ New Best Friend! will premiere on MTV. According to the page “Paris is looking for a new pal….and she’s got her eye on you! Sign up as a hopeful and you could be living the life with the posh princess herself!”
Rather than laugh at the irony that someone so in love with herself has to stoop to reality television to find a friend, let’s instead look at the top contenders in the competition thus far.
Number 5: Chuck Love
He’s a 23 year old from Philly. He lists his similarities to Paris as being, “First I enjoy being in the public eye. Next, I am approached to take pictures with random people on a daily basis. Finally, I love to have fun and party.” He’s also 3 ½ feet tall. She might like this fact though. We’ve all heard how she treats little people and animals. Maybe she would ask to carry him in her purse during events where she couldn’t bring her dog.
Number 4: Abby0090
She’s 18 and from Cohutta, Georgia. Despite being number 4 in the running, she is automatically disqualified as Paris needs friends that she can drink with. However, she lists her Paris similarities as “We both love animals, and both like to have fun. I love getting dressed up and having fun, and we all know Paris does, too! Neither one of us really cares about the negative things people have to say. We both have small dogs (Tinkerbelle, and I have a yorkie named Sophie–I love her to death!). We both love our families and also have the same taste in fashion. We both love singing!”
She might have worked as a best friend for crotch rocket, but the fact that they wouldn’t be able to legally get in clubs to fight over men, get drunk, and puke together would really shorten her chances.
Number 3: TayZonday
He (I think it’s a He) is 25 and from Minneapolis. He didn’t fill out the standard blog survey that the others have, but he does thank everyone for the votes and talks about writing a song for Paris (Ode to a dumb, superficial Skank, anyone?). He also says “Paris and I will work toward this higher state of social and political consciousness — one that brings out the best in us and not the most trite.”
Really, with promises like that how could you not want him as Paris’ new BFF?
Number 2: SouthernGal85
She is 22 and from Cleveland, Texas. Like Number 3, Number 2 did not do the blog thing with the similarities she shares with Paris. However, she does say that she wants Paris to hang out with more fat people, and she adds “I believe I am very different that what may be expected. I’m from Texas and I’m overweight. Nothing about me is fake. I’m actually a happy person and I think it would be interesting to see a friendship take place from two very different lifestyles!”
A part of me can’t help but want her to win. The photo ops will be priceless because you know Paris can’t be seen without anyone who is trashy, coked-out, cocked-out, or anorexic. She wouldn’t know how to handle this one.
Number One: BenjyBenjy
He is 21 and from New York. He did not answer the blog questions either, but he did do the week five requirement, which asked if you had a significant other and how you felt it would affect your BFF-ness with Paris. His reply, “I do not currently have a significant other…I am dating…being Paris BFF would help me to find one, cause when Paris and I are BFF’s, I will wear a t-shirt that says “Paris is my BFF” this will be inside an image of a heart and also inside the heart will be a photo of Paris…Paris will wear a shirt saying “BenjyBenjy is my BFF”…with my photo on it inside a heart…”
Aww….Isn’t that cute?
You can vote or check out the show in more detail by visiting I Want to be Paris’ New Best Friend.
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Written by Ashtyn - Visit Website
Ashtyn is definitely the casual gamer in the family. A game fan since she owned an Atari, Ashtyn can remember when her brother rigged the television so he wouldn’t lose his Super Mario Bros. game. That is, until the power went out! A fan of all things Mario, Ashtyn is a Nintendo loyalist. She digs playing Mario-style RPG games, watching others play violent shooters (because she sucks at them), and playing casual PC games (like Wedding Dash and Cake Mania). As of now, she is into the Wii and Nintendo DS, though she’s certain the games for PS3 and Xbox 360 are more appealing.
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