You know, I never would have thought it, had I not been nominated by a friend, for The Most Obnoxious Blogger in the Blogger Choice Awards. Since that nomination, I began to wonder…am I truly obnoxious or am I just plain honest? People really can’t handle the truth and all I’ve ever given is my true opinion on matters of celebrity stupidity.
I mean, sure, I’ve been threatened by mobs of angry Jonas Brothers fans online. I’ve been told not to write if I can’t write anything nice by disgruntled Chloe Lattanzi groupies. I’ve had people call me hacks for supposedly stealing comedian bits, when I was, in fact, the first to call the Jonas Brothers metrosexual. Still, I’ve done nothing but write what any other critic writes; their opinion.
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Written by Ashtyn - Visit Website
Ashtyn is definitely the casual gamer in the family. A game fan since she owned an Atari, Ashtyn can remember when her brother rigged the television so he wouldn’t lose his Super Mario Bros. game. That is, until the power went out! A fan of all things Mario, Ashtyn is a Nintendo loyalist. She digs playing Mario-style RPG games, watching others play violent shooters (because she sucks at them), and playing casual PC games (like Wedding Dash and Cake Mania). As of now, she is into the Wii and Nintendo DS, though she’s certain the games for PS3 and Xbox 360 are more appealing.
I just had to do a parody of my favorite band, the Jonas Brothers’ hit song “S.O.S”. I hope you enjoy!
S.O.S. (Metrosexual Dressing) Lyrics
Told you I made shopping plans
With you so you can help me
learn how to dress the right way
Well I’m done
With awkward situation’s dressing
metrosexual
Oohh…This is an S.O.S.
I’ve got to learn to dress
My style is a mess
It’s true
I gave my clothes away
And now I’m dressing gay
And I can’t find the right way to
It’s like I’m dressing just like you
Better believe I’m worse
At looking like I’m not gay
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Written by Ashtyn - Visit Website
Ashtyn is definitely the casual gamer in the family. A game fan since she owned an Atari, Ashtyn can remember when her brother rigged the television so he wouldn’t lose his Super Mario Bros. game. That is, until the power went out! A fan of all things Mario, Ashtyn is a Nintendo loyalist. She digs playing Mario-style RPG games, watching others play violent shooters (because she sucks at them), and playing casual PC games (like Wedding Dash and Cake Mania). As of now, she is into the Wii and Nintendo DS, though she’s certain the games for PS3 and Xbox 360 are more appealing.
So, I’ve been thinking. When you are caught drag racing because you can’t handle your car and you crash and turn someone into a vegetable for life, what do you do? Some of us might be apologetic. Others might run and hide. Still, others would pretend that they did nothing wrong. Unfortunately, some of the assholes that would do that are so dense that they might actually believe they aren’t at fault. Nick Hogan is one of these assholes.
Apparently, the youngest in the Bollea brood is not taking jail time as well as everyone had hoped he would. Come on, the kid is a privileged, yet pathetic teenager that thinks his daddy can get him out of anything. You expected adult behavior out of him? I highly doubt it. True to form, Nick has been sitting in jail, whining and crying to his mommy.
He doesn’t like prison. They have him in a single cell, isolated from everyone else. I don’t know if that’s his secret plea to allow for rape time or what, but apparently he’d do anything to not be alone. Hey, it’s his ass, not mine.
Despite pleading guilty, Nick doesn’t seem to have a nice thing to say about John, the guy he turned into a vegetable, now that he’s in the clink. In fact, audio tapes of Nick whining have recently surfaced and if he’s trying to get out on good behavior, these certainly aren’t going to do the trick.
Feel free to check out the audio below from TMZ. Some highlights of the conversation have been included for those that don’t want to hear the whiny bitch speak.
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Written by Ashtyn - Visit Website
Ashtyn is definitely the casual gamer in the family. A game fan since she owned an Atari, Ashtyn can remember when her brother rigged the television so he wouldn’t lose his Super Mario Bros. game. That is, until the power went out! A fan of all things Mario, Ashtyn is a Nintendo loyalist. She digs playing Mario-style RPG games, watching others play violent shooters (because she sucks at them), and playing casual PC games (like Wedding Dash and Cake Mania). As of now, she is into the Wii and Nintendo DS, though she’s certain the games for PS3 and Xbox 360 are more appealing.
I don’t watch White Oprah’s show Living Lohan and I never will because Dina is a trashy cuntbag that is just out to pimp her daughters and ride their waves of fame, because she’s a talentless hack. Regardless, someone is watching this shit and they are already buzzing about the great parental habits that Mommy Dearest seems to have.
For instance, on this first episode they show Dina watching a sex tape. No it’s not just any sex tape. It’s one of a Lindsay look-alike. Okay, most porn that’s done a look alike, claims to be the real person. So, considering we all know how Lindsay likes getting hers, what if it would have been her? Isn’t it a little disturbing that Dina wants Lindsay on her show so bad that she will put her own kid’s sex tape on the show to get ratings?
Hell, even if it wasn’t about that, she was watching a sex tape of someone that looks like her kid. I don’t sit around watching my deceased grandmother’s sex tapes, so I can feel closer to her. I just don’t know what’s up with this. However, one cannot help but wonder if this was a lesbian sex tape or not.
As if this wasn’t bad enough on its own, Ali, Lindsay’s 14 year old sister comes into the room while mom is watching this shit and asks if it’s Lindsay. Dude, seriously. If you are going to watch porn don’t let the kids see it. As it is, Ali’s role model is Lindsay so she’s already heading for a 3C addiction (cock, coke, and eventually clit). I doubt she needs anymore help with the inclusion of Mommy and Me porn time.
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Written by Ashtyn - Visit Website
Ashtyn is definitely the casual gamer in the family. A game fan since she owned an Atari, Ashtyn can remember when her brother rigged the television so he wouldn’t lose his Super Mario Bros. game. That is, until the power went out! A fan of all things Mario, Ashtyn is a Nintendo loyalist. She digs playing Mario-style RPG games, watching others play violent shooters (because she sucks at them), and playing casual PC games (like Wedding Dash and Cake Mania). As of now, she is into the Wii and Nintendo DS, though she’s certain the games for PS3 and Xbox 360 are more appealing.
Apparently Ashlee Simpson-Wentz has not learned anything from her sister. Well, either that or she realized she wasn’t going to make a living for much longer selling music with her vocal issues. To ensure a bright and successful life, the Simpson-Wentz clan are shopping around the idea of a Newlywed show in the same vein as the show that Jessica did with Nick prior to becoming a divorced, drunken slut with a penchant for football players.
I’ve heard of following in your sister’s footsteps, but isn’t this a little ridiculous?! Ashlee will, of course, be playing the Jessica role. This means she will be the moron and Pete gets to roll his eyes, laugh, and profess his love to a wife with the IQ of 12. While the couple has yet to find a network, they are shopping around, and even have footage they can offer as samples!
According to sources for OK Magazine:
“One scene is at a dinner and everyone is toasting to business ventures and important things like that. When it came to Ashlee, she toasts to jewelry, and Pete just shook his head.”
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Written by Ashtyn - Visit Website
Ashtyn is definitely the casual gamer in the family. A game fan since she owned an Atari, Ashtyn can remember when her brother rigged the television so he wouldn’t lose his Super Mario Bros. game. That is, until the power went out! A fan of all things Mario, Ashtyn is a Nintendo loyalist. She digs playing Mario-style RPG games, watching others play violent shooters (because she sucks at them), and playing casual PC games (like Wedding Dash and Cake Mania). As of now, she is into the Wii and Nintendo DS, though she’s certain the games for PS3 and Xbox 360 are more appealing.
It seems impossible to go through a day without a piece of news about Lindsay Lohan. Today brings a couple of pieces on the former coked out celeb. I say former, not because I think she’s drug free, but because she has the sense to wipe the powder from her nose these days. Anyway, the first bit of news deals with Lindsay and her disinterest in seeing her father, who so rudely outed her lesbian love romp, as if America wasn’t smart enough to figure it out already. Micheal, the AA Douche of the Year, promptly recanted, claiming that his words were misunderstood, but we got them just fine.
So, Lindsay doesn’t want to see her daddy, but he wants to save her soul. To do this he has decided to plant himself outside of the Peninsula Hotel where Loho and SamRo were staying due to Sam’s deejaying gig. Lindsay ended up leaving the hotel early when she learned that Michael was looking for her. I can’t say I blame her. If you’ve read one ministry pamphlet you’ve read them all.
When Michael didn’t get in touch with his daughter he came back to the hotel the night of Sam’s event. He knew Lindsay would show up to support her lover so he sat outside waiting for his daughter to arrive.
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Written by Ashtyn - Visit Website
Ashtyn is definitely the casual gamer in the family. A game fan since she owned an Atari, Ashtyn can remember when her brother rigged the television so he wouldn’t lose his Super Mario Bros. game. That is, until the power went out! A fan of all things Mario, Ashtyn is a Nintendo loyalist. She digs playing Mario-style RPG games, watching others play violent shooters (because she sucks at them), and playing casual PC games (like Wedding Dash and Cake Mania). As of now, she is into the Wii and Nintendo DS, though she’s certain the games for PS3 and Xbox 360 are more appealing.
Once you have as many kids as Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have it hardly becomes breaking news. It’s just another day in the Jolie-Pitt family. However, on Sunday it is being reported that Angelina Jolie popped in France and her twin daughters with Brad Pitt have been born.
According to several reports including ones from E News and The Insider, the twin girls have been named Isla Marcheline and Amelie Jane. The names were after both grandmothers. Isla Marcheline received her name in honor of Angelina’s late mother and Amelie Jane in honor of Brad’s mom.
According to inside sources, both mother and babies are doing fantastic. If rumors are correct, Jolie gave birth Sunday evening at a Catholic clinic in Aix-en-Provence. It has been said that Jolie flew her doctor from California to France for the big moment. Of course, no official word has been given, but it does appear that the twins have been born.
The twins join the other children of Jolie-Pitt including Maddox, Zahara, Shiloh, and Pax. Keep in mind though that this may not be true. A few months back it was heavily rumored that the pair had wed in New Orleans, though it was later found to be just rumors and this could be, as well.
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Written by Ashtyn - Visit Website
Ashtyn is definitely the casual gamer in the family. A game fan since she owned an Atari, Ashtyn can remember when her brother rigged the television so he wouldn’t lose his Super Mario Bros. game. That is, until the power went out! A fan of all things Mario, Ashtyn is a Nintendo loyalist. She digs playing Mario-style RPG games, watching others play violent shooters (because she sucks at them), and playing casual PC games (like Wedding Dash and Cake Mania). As of now, she is into the Wii and Nintendo DS, though she’s certain the games for PS3 and Xbox 360 are more appealing.
Amy Winehouse is back at it. Of course, this time it’s not so much about her doing it (at least not where we can see). This time Alex Haines, the guy hired to keep her on the straight and narrow, was seen and arrested for smoking crack. What exactly was he supposed to keep her off of? Horse Tranquilizers?
Whatever it was didn’t work because after the security camera told all, Wino’s label fired him faster than she could dump some LSD into her McDonald’s Chocolate Shake.
The NY Daily News Reports:
Haines was originally brought into the fold to keep Winehouse, who has a history of problems with drugs and alcohol, on the straight and narrow. The singer’s mom raved about Haines last month, telling the U.K.’s Daily Mail that he’s “a lovely boy” who was a good influence on her daughter. Whoops.
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Written by Ashtyn - Visit Website
Ashtyn is definitely the casual gamer in the family. A game fan since she owned an Atari, Ashtyn can remember when her brother rigged the television so he wouldn’t lose his Super Mario Bros. game. That is, until the power went out! A fan of all things Mario, Ashtyn is a Nintendo loyalist. She digs playing Mario-style RPG games, watching others play violent shooters (because she sucks at them), and playing casual PC games (like Wedding Dash and Cake Mania). As of now, she is into the Wii and Nintendo DS, though she’s certain the games for PS3 and Xbox 360 are more appealing.
Mariah Carey might be able to hit a note that will make you go deaf, but when it comes to throwing a ball she isn’t very good. She can suck a ball (I’m sure!). She can fondle a ball, but throwing one away isn’t her strong suit. Of course, if it was her strong suit that whole Derek Jeter thing would have never happened.
Recently Mariah was in Japan for a baseball game where she got to throw the first pitch. Well, she threw it, about 1 1/2 inches. You can check out Mimi’s sad attempt at throwing by checking out the following video:
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Written by Ashtyn - Visit Website
Ashtyn is definitely the casual gamer in the family. A game fan since she owned an Atari, Ashtyn can remember when her brother rigged the television so he wouldn’t lose his Super Mario Bros. game. That is, until the power went out! A fan of all things Mario, Ashtyn is a Nintendo loyalist. She digs playing Mario-style RPG games, watching others play violent shooters (because she sucks at them), and playing casual PC games (like Wedding Dash and Cake Mania). As of now, she is into the Wii and Nintendo DS, though she’s certain the games for PS3 and Xbox 360 are more appealing.
A while back I wrote an article about how truly, disgustingly awful the Jonas Brothers sounded on the AMA Awards. I had never heard them sing and despite them sounding like complete crap, there were some fans that got very upset that I called them metrosexuals and cut them down when they are really nice and upstanding young men.
Of course, one of these upstanding young men dated Miley Cyrus who is becoming not as upstanding or nice as she used to be, but that’s for another day. This is something different it’s about the Jonas Brothers.
Again, I saw them perform live. This time they were on the American Idol stage. After I cleaned up my urine (I have a bad bladder when I laugh hysterically at something) I realized that maybe I wasn’t being fair. I tried to listen to them again. I say tried because I couldn’t stop giggling. Sure, I’ve heard worse. I’ve heard Chloe Latanzzi sing and in all fairness you can’t get any worse than that. However, they are a close second.
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Written by Ashtyn - Visit Website
Ashtyn is definitely the casual gamer in the family. A game fan since she owned an Atari, Ashtyn can remember when her brother rigged the television so he wouldn’t lose his Super Mario Bros. game. That is, until the power went out! A fan of all things Mario, Ashtyn is a Nintendo loyalist. She digs playing Mario-style RPG games, watching others play violent shooters (because she sucks at them), and playing casual PC games (like Wedding Dash and Cake Mania). As of now, she is into the Wii and Nintendo DS, though she’s certain the games for PS3 and Xbox 360 are more appealing.
So, I’ve been thinking. When you are caught drag racing because you can’t handle your car and you crash and turn someone into a vegetable for life, what do you do? Some of us might be apologetic. Others might run and hide. Still, others would pretend that they did nothing wrong. Unfortunately, some of the assholes that would do that are so dense that they might actually believe they aren’t at fault. Nick Hogan is one of these assholes.
I don’t watch White Oprah’s show Living Lohan and I never will because Dina is a trashy cuntbag that is just out to pimp her daughters and ride their waves of fame, because she’s a talentless hack. Regardless, someone is watching this shit and they are already buzzing about the great parental habits that Mommy Dearest seems to have.
Apparently Ashlee Simpson-Wentz has not learned anything from her sister. Well, either that or she realized she wasn’t going to make a living for much longer selling music with her vocal issues. To ensure a bright and successful life, the Simpson-Wentz clan are shopping around the idea of a Newlywed show in the same vein as the show that Jessica did with Nick prior to becoming a divorced, drunken slut with a penchant for football players.
It seems impossible to go through a day without a piece of news about Lindsay Lohan. Today brings a couple of pieces on the former coked out celeb. I say former, not because I think she’s drug free, but because she has the sense to wipe the powder from her nose these days. Anyway, the first bit of news deals with Lindsay and her disinterest in seeing her father, who so rudely outed her lesbian love romp, as if America wasn’t smart enough to figure it out already. Micheal, the AA Douche of the Year, promptly recanted, claiming that his words were misunderstood, but we got them just fine.
Once you have as many kids as Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have it hardly becomes breaking news. It’s just another day in the Jolie-Pitt family. However, on Sunday it is being reported that Angelina Jolie popped in France and her twin daughters with Brad Pitt have been born.
Amy Winehouse is back at it. Of course, this time it’s not so much about her doing it (at least not where we can see). This time Alex Haines, the guy hired to keep her on the straight and narrow, was seen and arrested for smoking crack. What exactly was he supposed to keep her off of? Horse Tranquilizers?
A while back I wrote an article about how truly, disgustingly awful the Jonas Brothers sounded on the AMA Awards. I had never heard them sing and despite them sounding like complete crap, there were some fans that got very upset that I called them metrosexuals and cut them down when they are really nice and upstanding young men.
