Apparently Ashlee Simpson-Wentz has not learned anything from her sister. Well, either that or she realized she wasn’t going to make a living for much longer selling music with her vocal issues. To ensure a bright and successful life, the Simpson-Wentz clan are shopping around the idea of a Newlywed show in the same vein as the show that Jessica did with Nick prior to becoming a divorced, drunken slut with a penchant for football players.

I’ve heard of following in your sister’s footsteps, but isn’t this a little ridiculous?! Ashlee will, of course, be playing the Jessica role. This means she will be the moron and Pete gets to roll his eyes, laugh, and profess his love to a wife with the IQ of 12. While the couple has yet to find a network, they are shopping around, and even have footage they can offer as samples!

According to sources for OK Magazine:

“One scene is at a dinner and everyone is toasting to business ventures and important things like that. When it came to Ashlee, she toasts to jewelry, and Pete just shook his head.”

Wow, I don’t know about you, but with footage like that, I can’t wait for it to be picked up by VH1! Not only that, but it’s sure to be a hit with lines and reactions like that.

Technorati Tags: Ashlee Simpson-Wentz, Pete Wentz, Newlyweds, Television, Reality TV, Idiot, Moron, OK Magazine, VH1

Amy Winehouse is back at it. Of course, this time it’s not so much about her doing it (at least not where we can see). This time Alex Haines, the guy hired to keep her on the straight and narrow, was seen and arrested for smoking crack. What exactly was he supposed to keep her off of? Horse Tranquilizers?

Whatever it was didn’t work because after the security camera told all, Wino’s label fired him faster than she could dump some LSD into her McDonald’s Chocolate Shake.

The NY Daily News Reports:

Haines was originally brought into the fold to keep Winehouse, who has a history of problems with drugs and alcohol, on the straight and narrow. The singer’s mom raved about Haines last month, telling the U.K.’s Daily Mail that he’s “a lovely boy” who was a good influence on her daughter. Whoops.

Winehouse and Haines have been plagued by reports that they’re a couple, which didn’t sit too well with Winehouse’s incarcerated husband, Blake Fielder-Civil. “Alex was a good friend to Amy but he caused massive rows for her with Blake,” a pal said. “He couldn’t stand hearing they were sleeping together.”

If they are going to have a crackhead take care of Amy why don’t they just get Blake out on work release?! Not only would he keep her clean it would give me plenty of things to talk about every single day.

Technorati Tags: Amy Winehouse, Crack, Alex Haines, Blake Fielder-Civil, Drugs, LSD, Horse Tranquilizers, Security Cameras

A while back I wrote an article about how truly, disgustingly awful the Jonas Brothers sounded on the AMA Awards. I had never heard them sing and despite them sounding like complete crap, there were some fans that got very upset that I called them metrosexuals and cut them down when they are really nice and upstanding young men.

Of course, one of these upstanding young men dated Miley Cyrus who is becoming not as upstanding or nice as she used to be, but that’s for another day. This is something different it’s about the Jonas Brothers.

Again, I saw them perform live. This time they were on the American Idol stage. After I cleaned up my urine (I have a bad bladder when I laugh hysterically at something) I realized that maybe I wasn’t being fair. I tried to listen to them again. I say tried because I couldn’t stop giggling. Sure, I’ve heard worse. I’ve heard Chloe Latanzzi sing and in all fairness you can’t get any worse than that. However, they are a close second.

The reason I am offering this heartfelt apology is not because they suck on stage, but rather because I called them metrosexual. I see how unfair that was. I mean just look at this fine, overly-masculine outfit that Joe Jonas wore that night. It’s clearly not metrosexual. I think He-Man actually wore this in Season Two of the box set we just received. If He-Man wore it, it can’t be gay. So, I was wrong. I recant and I apologize.

You will never hear me say that the Jonas Brothers are metrosexual again. Of course, with clothes like that I won’t need to. They say everything I need to and more all on their own.

Technorati Tags: Joe Jonas, The Jonas Brothers, Apology, Miley Cryus, AMAs, American Idol, Stage, Live Performance, Metrosexual

I know, I know these are two things you never thought you’d hear together. It’s kind of like hearing peanut butter and sperm. They just don’t go together. Well, at least I think they don’t.

Nonetheless, it’s the talk of the town that Clay Aiken actually impregnated someone. Before I go on, let me just say, I hope they don’t use that turkey baster this Thanksgiving!

According to TMZ, Clay who is 29 has impregnated Jaymes Foster who is 50. Foster is a record producer who lives with Aiken in his LA home. From what is going around it happened through artificial insemination and Clay will help by actively raising his future son or daughter.

Foster is divorced and this will be her first child. She is due in August. This will also be Aiken’s first child. He has never been married, because, well, that just became legal in California.

Technorati Tags: Jaymes Foster, Clay Aiken, Pregnant, Artificial Insemination, California, Divorced, Baby, Thanksgiving, Turkey Baster

Kate Voegele: Only Fooling Myself Video

Kate will be touring with Natasha Bedingfield & The Veronicas. Tour dates are listed below:

5/21 – House of Blues Myrtle Beach, SC
5/23 – House of Blues Orlando, FL
5/27 – Variety Playhouse Atlanta, GA
6/2 – House of Blues Cleveland, OH
6/3 – Egyptian Room at The Murat Indianapolis, IN
6/4 – St. Andrew’s Hall Detroit, MI
6/6 – Bogarts Cincinnati, OH
6/8 – The Pageant St. Louis, MO
6/10 – House of Blues Dallas, TX
6/11 – Verizon Wireless Theater Houston, TX
6/16 – The Fillmore at The TLA Philadelphia, PA
6/17 – Rams Head Live Baltimore, MD
6/20 – Borgata Music Box Atlantic City, NJ
6/25 – The Fillmore NY at Irving Plaza New York City, NY
6/30 – Gothic Theater Denver, CO
7/2 – House of Blues Las Vegas, NV
7/5 – House of Blues San Diego, CA
7/7 – House of Blues Anaheim, CA
7/9 – House of Blues Los Angeles, CA
7/10 – The Fillmore San Francisco, CA

Technorati Tags: Kate Voegele, Video, Music Video, Only Fooling Myself, Myspace Music, Tour, Natasha Bedingfield

This week there are seven contestants left in the AI bunch. Last week offered the shocking removal of Michael Johns from the pack. This was disappointed because he was far more talented than some of the others that have been left on the stage to continue to compete. Tonight, the remaining seven will be singing Mariah Carey songs.

Ryan Seacrest mentioned that everyone was still shocked by Michael Johns leaving and the crowd booed. Obviously they were as disappointed with his removal as I was. He mentioned it just to remind everyone how important it was to vote. I have to admit, this reminded me of when Daughtry was kicked. Now he’s one of the best selling Idols in history. I think Michael Johns will end up meeting a similar fate and I definitely look forward to getting my hands on a CD with his name on it.

When Seacrest announced the judges, they went through the line, one by one, as always. Randy was shown in a shirt we’ve seen before, Paula was looking perky in purple, and Simon was doing his natural thing. I have to admit, I have been looking forward to this week. Due to the fact that there are so many men in the competition, I imagined that it would be quite amusing to see what they did with these songs.

Mariah just managed to be scheduled the week of her CD release E=Mc2. She mentioned that she didn’t like judging people and told the Idols to look at her like she was just a new friend. Yeah, that shouldn’t be a problem, at all. Randy says that he hopes they do not try to sound like Mariah tonight. Paula deffered to Randy’s comment. Simon said tonight is make or break for Randy.

First up was David Archuleta. He was scared to meet Mariah and felt he wasn’t worthy to be in her presence. Mariah liked the idea of him singing “When you Believe”, which was a natural choice for the inspirational teen idol. She recommended that he try to go into his false and said his singing was beautiful.

What he Sang: “When You Believe”

What he Wore: David was wearing a red patterned t-shirt and leather pants.

How he Sounded: He slowed the song down some from the original version. It was alright, but everything was about the big voice we know he handles beautifully and the motivational message that comes in every song that he sings. So, it’s not that he wasn’t any good because he was. The problem was that he hasn’t really grown as an artist in the time we have been watching him. He’s amazing, no doubt, but in the same way that he was amazing, he was stagnant. He continues to do the same thing each week. However, I will give it to Mariah. Adding the false did sound good and he showed off a new move, although it was only one.

What the Judges Said: Randy was worried about the idea that the boys would have to sing a girl’s song, though he did point out, if you can sing, you can sing anything. He then proclaimed something that most of us already knew. David can sing. That was the bomb, according to Randy. Paula felt it had to feel great for Mariah to be listening to the great job that David just did and she’s sure that Mariah was very proud. Simon knew that David would pick this song, but it was good anyway. He set the benchmark. The guys are going to have an easier chance tonight, because unlike the girls there will be no comparison to Mariah.

After a break it was time for Carly Smithson to hit the stage. She said they all miss Michael and she was incredibly shocked when he left last week. When it came to singing, Mariah felt that Carly would do her song justice. She made wise decisions for her range and thought she would do fine as long as she was confident. Carly said the entire moment was a dream come true.

What she Sang: “Without You”

What she Wore: Carly wore an all black dress with a sequence belt and heels.

How she Sounded: I am a fan of Carly and tonight I was not disappointed though this was not my favorite performance, as I tend to like her more soulful or rock-style offerings. Unfortunately, Mariah, in all her glory, does not have too many rock options, if any. Carly did a much mellower take on this song than Mariah did when she made it popular back in the day. Mariah belted most of the song out and she sounded good. Meanwhile, Carly was very subtle with moments of power especially towards the end. She sounded wonderful, all things considered. There was plenty of emotion and the range and notes she chose made her sound great. I think she should be just fine tomorrow.

What the Judges Said: Randy liked that she challenged herself. The only thing he worried about was that she needs to trust herself more. It was pretty good. Paula liked that she showed some vocal restraint and then moved on to soar. It was great. Simon wanted to hear her sing the song. He doesn’t think she pulled it off in comparison to Mariah. He felt that she was over-thinking things and she could have done better.

Syesha Mercado was up after the break. Mariah thought that Syesha chose a great song to sing. She wrote the song as a teenager and it’s still her favorite song. Mariah gave Syesha plenty of pointers to try and help make her more confident. She thought she was cool and did a great job.

What she Sang: “Vanishing”

What she Wore: Syesha wore a gold halter dress.

How she Sounded: I don’t think anyone could like Syesha as much as she seems to like herself. She likes to power her notes where they don’t need to be powered. Furthermore, her big voice always comes off as more of a high-powered scream. She was falling off notes and keys, and it just was not impressive. She reminded me of someone looking for that Kelly Clarkson moment, but the problem was she was lost in the dark and would never have been able to find it, if she is even capable of such a moment.

What the Judges Said: Randy felt it was a tough song, but she did a good job, all things considered. It was a little pitchy but good. Paula felt she was smart this week. She picked a song that most people do not know so they cannot compare it to Mariah. Overall, it was magical. Simon felt it was very good, but it wasn’t a good song choice so she was running a risk at that stage in the competition. He felt that David was still the one to beat at that point.

Brooke White and Kristy Lee Cook were set to go up next after a break. Brooke was up first. She mentioned being sad that she missed her sister’s wedding over the weekend. On a better piece of news, Mariah loved Brooke and felt that she was very genuine as a person. She felt that she meant the words that she sang from her heart. She advised her to feel the words and take them to heart as this would only better her performance.

What she Sang: “Hero”

What she Wore: Brooke wore a black dress sequenced dress.

How she Sounded: As usual, Brooke sat at her piano to play this week’s song. This was one of Mariah’s number one songs. It’s interesting to hear Brooke do Mariah because Brooke reminds me so much of a Carly Simon. The song turned out very inspirational and somewhat less pop-like. I found it interesting in the middle of the song how she started to belt out her notes. It was a different move for Brooke. It was a side that we have not really seen of her. Her voice just got so much stronger. While not everyone will love this new side of her vocally it showed that she is capable of trying new things and that is incredibly important. It was very calm compared to the depths that Mariah had given it, but it was one of my favorite performances so far for that very reason.

What the Judges Said: Randy liked that she brought the whole singer-songwriter vibe to it. The bridge was weird, but he appreciated it and felt it was good. Paula loved how authentic Brooke was. She’s identifiable. This unplugged version was brave and save for some off notes, it was good. It didn’t seem challenging even though it probably was. Simon felt she didn’t have much choice in what she chose to sing because nothing was really her style. However, he felt that he ordered a hamburger but only got a bun. He didn’t feel the vital ingredient was in the song and her voice wasn’t strong enough for that song choice.

Kristy Lee Cook sang a song that not everyone knows, which could have been an advantage for her because the comparison to Mariah would not be as fierce. Mariah felt it was good that she chose a song that was not so identifiable to the general public. When she heard Kristy Lee sing she got goose bumps from the song. It could be for that reason that she felt like she would do a good job with her main performance.

What she Sang: “Forever”

What she Wore: Kristy Lee was wearing a bronze dress.

How she Sounded: A piano accompanied Kristy Lee this week. I felt the control was off on her voice, but this is nothing new for her when she is out of her comfort zone. Her soft tone was breathy and weak, and when she belts her notes she kind of screams. It was not impressive. I don’t know if she is crowd shy or what, but she seems to do better in the practice times than she does on the stage. She does better with country either way, so I wasn’t expecting a whole lot here, but on the fair side I’ve certainly heard her do much worse. I don’t think she’s in a great position right now, but then she has been in the bottom more than anyone, and she still continues to remain on the show.

What the Judges Said: Randy felt it was kind of pitchy, but she stepped it up towards the end. Paula thought that she was smart. She was blown away. She loved the arrangement and it could have been a hit in the country music scene. She was proud of her. Simon didn’t get chills like Mariah. She managed with what she could and it was somewhat whiny, but that was to be expected as there was no advantage here for her. It wasn’t great.

David Cook was up next. Mariah was shocked by his song choice. I have to admit, I was shocked too, but I knew that he would make anything he chose, his own, so it would be amazing in the end. She felt he did something really different and she was proud as a songwriter, because he was able to change the song and take it in a new direction completely.

What he Sang: “Always Be My Baby”

What he Wore: David was looking very JT like in a white shirt, jacket, tie, and slacks. Overall, he looked incredibly hot.

How he Sounded: If I had to choose a winner for the entire thing right this second, it would be David Cook. I was in it for him to win it, ever since Beatles week round one. I wasn’t sure in the beginning with that Eleanor Rigby rendition, but after hearing it a second time I really did fall in love with it. David turned “Be My Baby” into a rock hit, just like he has with so many other songs in this competition, and it was incredibly interesting to hear. I wasn’t a huge fan of the song before tonight, but with a full band, some backup singers, and his haunting voice, I absolutely loved it. It was so unique. He definitely nailed it. It was hot and there really isn’t anything else to say.

What the Judges Said: Randy thinks that David is ready to make an album, more than anyone on the show. It was the most brilliant performance of the season. Paula felt it was pretty awesome and the song could be in a movie soundtrack. David is it. Simon felt it was coming out of Karaoke hell and stepping into a breath of fresh air. It was original, daring, and stood out by a mile. Congrats to David.

Jason Castro was up after the break and it was his job to close out the show. Mariah felt his song choice was interesting though she didn’t add in too much more than that about the song. He loved her song inclusions and ideas that she gave him. She felt he was unique and she was glad she could work with him.

What he Sang: “I Don’t Want to Cry”

What he Wore: Jason wore a jean jacket, t-shirt, and jeans.

How he Sounded: This was one of Mariah’s biggest songs. He had a small set of guitar players and some bongos going while he sang. It wasn’t his worst performance, but I am not entirely sure that I was sold at all either. It was certainly a new take, which was good because he obviously couldn’t pull off her version. Did I love it? No. There were some pitchy moments. However on a more positive note even though it wasn’t my favorite, it was better than I have heard him before.

What the Judges Said: Randy didn’t love it. It felt weird. He didn’t get it. It was like a beach party with music in the distance. Paula wished she was at that beach party. It was lovely. He’s amazing. Simon agreed with Paula. It wasn’t the best vocal, but it was all his and it was cool. The guys beat out the girls completely.

The Best of the Night: David Cook blew me away and blew everyone out of the water in the process. I would be shocked if he didn’t end up winning the whole thing. I also enjoyed the performances of both Carly and Brooke.

The Worst of the Night: I don’t feel Kristy Lee was in her element. She second guesses herself and I highly doubt that she will be around much longer because of that. Syesha is the exact opposite. Unlike Kristy Lee she is over-confident and often without reason. I imagine that she’s a much better actor than she is a singer. Either way, her days on Idol are numbered.

David Archuleta handled himself very well, but this is nothing new. I didn’t label him the best of the night, because he’s not challenging himself or changing his game. It’s always an inspirational song, sung well. He’s not going anywhere and that’s good, but I’d like to see something new.

Finally, Jason Castro wasn’t as bad as he normally is, but at the same time I don’t think he will be sticking around much longer. I think it will be him, Syesha, and Kristy Lee in the bottom this week. While I wouldn’t mind seeing Syesha go home, I think it might be one of the other two instead.

Technorati Tags: Jason Castro, David Archuleta, Carly Smithson, David Cook, Syesha, Michael Johns, Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson, Paula Abdul, Brooke White, Kristy Lee Cook, Singing Competition, Recap, American Idol

Ice, Ice Baby star and reality TV aficionado Robert Van Winkle was picked up earlier in the week to face charges of domestic battery. Winky was booked at the Palm Beach County Jail. His wife apparently made the call, but was less than helpful when the police arrived. Then again, what do you expect from Mrs. Ice? I mean seriously, didn’t she catch his old music videos?

In case she hasn’t I felt obliged to post one: After the video, keep reading for more about the follies of Ice and his Bi-polar Wife…well according to him anyway, but looking at that picture she’s definitely something…that’s for sure.

Laura (the wife) was not injured in the attack by Winky. According to the little she was able to say she stated that she wants a divorce, he pushed her, and she wasn’t interested in receiving media attention for this. Hello?! You married Vanilla Ice bitch. You would have had better luck calling Milli or Vanilli your Daddy.

She told the police specifically “He started yelling at me for going out to buy a bedroom set.”

Ice told cops, after they found him on his motorcycle taking a ride that he and the wife had been fighting since the day before this incident. He also added that his wife is bipolar and even with her meds she has a tendency to be somewhat irrational and likes to strike up arguments. On the evening in question she threw a picture frame off the balcony where it broke near him and the children.

Despite denying ever pushing the wife, Winky was still booked and charged.

Technorati Tags: Robert Van Winkle, Vanilla Ice, Laura Van Winkle, Ice Ice Baby, Music Videos, Domestic Battery

If you know the name Amy Winehouse you certainly know that her hit song “Rehab” was made as a reflection of her life, whether intentional or not. According to friends and all the news stories that have ever surfaced about this crazy bitch, she’s been addicted to drugs like heroine, horse tranqs, cocaine, crack, and who knows what else she might have been able to snag from her veterinarian.

When we aren’t talking drugs, Amy has been addicted to everything from her husband Blake (Blake incarcerated, as she called him at the Grammies) to things like…knitting…though she has gotten help for the knitting thing and really only relapses once in a while.

Her new thing could be much deadlier than anything mentioned before. Showbiz Spy has reported that Amy’s newest addiction is IRONING! Can you imagine? I mean, my momma always told me not to operate heavy machinery….or really hot household items when fucked up.

You never know, Amy might end up ironing off her face when she loses balance from being high and the hot iron could land on her. With that many drugs, she wouldn’t feel it until the morning…but the effects would surely be there for years. On the bright side – she wouldn’t need so much makeup.

Technorati Tags: Amy Winehouse, Crack, Cocaine, Blake Incarcerated, Ironing, Knitting, Obsession

This is by far the best celebrity quote of the day. It has to be. There is absolutely no way around it. This comes straight from the lips of Moby, who used to date Natalie Portman. I never really paid attention to Moby, but if he has such important things to say, I will definitely be paying more attention to him in the future.

When talking about Britney Spears he said:

“The fatter she gets, the weirder she gets, the more I love her. I found her moderately appealing in the late 90s, but now I would marry her in a heartbeat.”

You just gotta love this.

On another note, it seems that Brit Brit’s new management team is attempting to shop her around for a new reality show. This works well for Brit because well, she doesn’t have to…you know…act n’ stuff. She can just be her own woman ya’ll! With that in mind, studios are considering paying millions for this.

I don’t know why though. You know, when she was out at Starbucks every five minutes, hitting cars and not seat belting babies, and hanging out with the Paps instead of her Pops, it might have been a good show. After all, America loves a train wreck. Now it would just be sad geriatric television about a mentally ill fat girl with her redneck family in tow.

Technorati Tags: Britney Spears, Big, Fat, Marriage, Heartbeat, Moby, Natalie Portman

One of the things I love about celebrities is how their biggest secrets can become news if they need some marketing minutes. Take REM for example. If you are just a casual listener of the band you might say that you haven’t heard from them in close to a decade if you subtract the Best Of CDs that musicians without new music love to put out. Now that REM has a new CD coming out (April 1, to be exact), Michael Stipe, front runner for REM wants the world to know that he is a homosexual.

This isn’t something new for him mind you. He’s been fooling (or attempting to fool) audiences for years. When talking to Spin Magazine he recalls how hard it was being faux-hetero in the 80s. He told Spin, “I was totally open with the band and my family and my friends and certainly the people I was sleeping with. I thought it was pretty obvious.”

I would hope it would be pretty obvious to the men that he was sleeping with. How could Bill not have known? In previous years, Stipe has always attempted to remain ambiguous about his sexuality in interviews. The reason for coming out now was that he realizes how it can help people.

Technorati Tags: Michael Stipe, REM, Gay, Coming Out, New CD, Album, 80s, Homosexual