This year’s Bravo Awards were hosted by Kathy Griffin. The less than liked comedian did at least one, semi-humorous skit and had plenty to say during her stint. Here are some of the most, off-the-wall shots from the festivities.

And the Award goes to Sluttiest Bitch on TV!
I didn’t watch the awards, but yeah this looks like Tila won some award. I’m not sure of the purpose of the Bravo awards, but I always thought they were given to the winner of the best shows on Bravo. Either way, I can only imagine what this hooch won! Hooker of the year maybe?

Who’s Zebra threw up?
Not sure who the hell Rachel Dratch is, but that is one ugly dress. The expression on her face seems to match the ugliness of her outfit. It looks as though everyone thought the Bravo Awards were that unimportant they just threw on any old thing!

PETA Called: They Want their Ostrich Back
I have to wonder if PETA thew blood on Nikki Taylor’s shoes because the former fashion model has gone color blind. While the top of her outfit looks okay, it looks like she killed an ostrich and wrapped the dead carcus around her waist to make her skirt.

Cho Whose Your Super Hero?
Margaret Cho has never been known for her fashion sense, but the blue spandex totally reminds me of Superman or some other tight wearing superhero. Too bad it doesn’t go with the knee high boots, black top or assorted array of tattoos. While she definitely looks like someone who could have dated Quentin Tarantino, I’m not sure that’s a good selling point.

Hey! Look at My Tits!
I could only imagine that Lauren Hutton wore this see-thru top to show off her bra so we all wouldn’t notice the humongous gap between her front teeth. The only other conclusion I’ve come up with is maybe its her plea with Hooters to give her a job. It’s not like she’s doing much of anything else these days anyway!

Look Ma! I made My Dong Bigger!
Lance Bass helped Kathy Griffin out in a series of skits, one in which it looks like he’s going to shove a dildo up her…well I don’t really want to think of where. All I can imagine is he had to use a fake dong since his real one is to small to get on camera.

Here’s more proof Lance has a little wee wee….

As you can see it doesn’t take much to cover up his ding dong.

Oops! My Boobie Fell Out…Again!
Hasn’t the Janet-Justin thing been overdone? Though I do think the prosthetic boobs was a nice touch. It’s sure to be the latest way women in Hollywood decide to make their boobs bigger.

Pause…and Take a Silent Moment…
I think this picture speaks for itself. I don’t need to say a word…just sit and wonder how the train wreck started. Poor plaid…it didn’t ask to be put on her body. Much like Britney’s babies that came out of her vagina, the plaid didn’t ask to be here.

WTF is That?!
After seeing this, that’s what my boyfriend, Dom, said about model Holly Kiser’s outfit. I mean, c’mon! Her tits aren’t even big enough to hold up those belt straps and someone needs to call PETA pronto. It looks like a whole fleet of birds have been plucked to make her skirt (or maybe they just skinned a rabbit). Sorry, I’m not down with my fur/feather knowledge.

Is this a picture of Perez Hilton’s Evil Nemesis?
At least his hair’s not multi-colored. You have to give Christian Siriano that much credit. Still, he’s equally as creepy and disgusting. I don’t care who this guy is or what he designs. He’s a troll. Enough said!

Jenny Craig Called…We want You Caroline!
Didn’t Caroline used to be on The Biggest Loser? I guess she didn’t follow their diet. She must have consulted Kirstie Alley for weight loss tips instead, because wow, Caroline has become a heifer! In the battle of the twinkies, I think it’s safe to say they won.

Technorati Tags: Caroline Rhea, Margaret Cho, Lance Bass, Dildo, Boobies, Bravo Awards, Nikki Taylor, Kathy Griffin, Christian Siriano, Lauren Hutton, Holly Kiser, Worst Dressed, Kat Von D, Tila Tequila, Hooker

Okay, so I gave you pictures of the best and worst of the awards, but then I found pictures feature things happening that are just downright weird. For your entertainment, I give you the weirdness (or is it weirdest?) of the MTV Movie Awards:

Dana Carvey is pregnant?!
Seriously, look at that baby bump! It’s bigger than the one on Nicole Kidman! I don’t mean to brag, but I think I’m going to be the first to report on the “expecting” Daddy! Good luck with the delivery Dana. We hear birth can be rather painful!

Ode to the $2 Hooker with the Leather Whip
I know these are the costumes the Pussycat Dolls wore to perform at the MTV Movie Awards, but who the heck picked out these outfits? They look like their going to a backwoods leather bar to meet their Biker Momma.

Jack Black Becomes a Super Hero
Who knew that all it took was a little bit of marker to turn Jack Black into Ironman? Seriously, with just a few more touch ups he will look like Robert Downey Jr.’s twin!

Downey Jr. responsible for Shenanigan
I knew that Jack Black’s transformation into a super hero was too good to be true. It was just Robert Downey Jr. leaving a drawn signature on Black’s tummy. Look! He even signed his nipple! I don’t know if that’s funny or downright disturbing. Maybe a little of both. Hope that’s not permanent marker!

Random Homeless Beggar?
I don’t know who Jonah Hill is, but dang is he looking like a homeless beggar. If he’s a B-lister why not try and look more presentable? If you want to be memorable, don’t come in your best bag walker outfit. Get some class!

Mr. Rogers and His Tranny
Wow. I can barely comment on this. As Tom morphs into the Scientologist version of Mr. Rogers, Katie is becoming more mannish. Look at that mop top and the way she hulks over Tom. We all knew Tom loved the c-ck, but couldn’t he just have found a guy instead of morphing Katie Holmes into one?

She makes Me Look Hotter
Lindsay Lohan has the superior smirk of a girl who happens to be standing next to Bruce Willis in a dress. Rumor is pretty damn ugly and Lindsay knows it. Unfortunately for LoHo, the only way she gets deemed “hottest in the bunch” is to stand next to an ugly person. In the meantime, Rumor has her own little private smirk. You know, like the “I just put herpes on your dildo” or “I sucked SamRo’s monstrous clit first” look of satisfaction. I guess that just proves that it doesn’t take a hot person to pass on the STDs.

The Flowers and the Pillowcase
Yeah…Rain Wilson wore flowers and a teddy bear, but Megan Fox wore just a pillowcase. They make an unlikely pair, but just one slip (or tear) on stage would have given the audience a flash show they might (or might not -depending on the flashee) have desired. Let’s just hope neither dropped anything, like the soap!

I have a Big Spaceship
I figured it was only a matter of time before Tom converted Chris Brown and the rest of young Hollywood into Scientologists. As the space ranger, Brown is here to be the guide that welcomes the Mothership. What a cool job!

J-Lo Called; She Wants her Ghetto Booty Back!
Vanessa is looking a little, round in the rear. She’d do Sir Mixalot proud. Still, what’s that in the front? Disney might be shocked if we alluded to a baby bump, or maybe just shocked at the prospect of Zac Efron spawn on the Earth!

Technorati Tags: Vanessa Hudgens, Disney, Zac Efron, Robert Downey Jr., Megan Fox, Katie Holmes, tranny, Tom Cruise, J-Lo, Jack Black, Dana Carvey, pregnant

Next time someone makes a guest list for a posh hotel opening they should either A. make a better list or B. make sure there is a dress code to go with the guests. Just the other night B-list, reality, and a couple of A-list stars popped over to the Palms Place to make an entrance and do some hobnobbing. Here are the highlights in the form of some of the ugliest, freakiest, or the most amusing.

The 90210 Pimp
See what happens when you do 90210 (twice)? I always found Steve, err Ian, to be an amusing character on the show, but he shouldn’t be wearing the Michael Jackson look-alike hat. It’s moderately creepy.

Earrings from Outer Space
I could’ve ignored that her dress was drab and her shoes didn’t match other than in color, but the earrings were just too good to pass up. I wonder where she bought them. I think I’m going to buy some for all of my bridesmaids. Earrings like that deserve to be celebrated!

Informerical_King
I don’t even know who this guy is. I know he’s an actor, Josh something or other. I checked his IMDB page and he’s been on Mad TV and had some other small roles in movies. However, my first impression is of a guy on erectile dysfunction commercials. He’s just so happy. It’s like getting a stiffy for the first time all over again.

Super Hair…it’s Super!!!!!
I don’t know who this guy either, but with hair like this you know he had to be included! In fact, if Ashlee Simpson-Wentz had been smart enough to use this guy’s hairstylist she could have better shown off her earrings!

Botox Gone Wild
You would think that the psychics in her network would have had the common sense to foreshadow that her face would end up looking like this. Is it just me or does she look like the perfect cross between Michael and Janet if they were mooshed together and then run over by a train full of Botox?

Hogan’s Hos
I can just see it now. Someone is out there trying to steal Fabio’s fame and glory just as soon as he can finish growing his hair out. I know the Hogan’s are getting divorced, but must they go out and find random 20 year olds and fall all over them? I could ignore the ugly dress, but what’s with her smug expression? She’s got a kid in the slammer crying and a boyfriend that looks more suited for Jessica Simpson by the look on his face. Too bad there wasn’t such a thing as mental Vivaxa.

Polka Dot Waitress
Don’t get me wrong, I like polka dots on four year olds and older ladies moo-moos, but I don’t picture them as the epitome of sexy. It seems that sweet Sarah lost some of her clothes when Clooney canceled the lease. It’s time to go shopping before its back to waiting tables.

Simpson Dropped the Soap
I can’t even get past the look on her face to comment on anything else. You have to wonder what she is thinking. I think I have narrowed it down to three things.

1. Where did Ashlee get those earrings?
2. What do you mean there isn’t any free booze?
3. Take me to your leader.

Playa Pimp in Short Form
What can I say? The man knows how to dress. Sure, he’s casual, but he’s far better looking than some of the people above him in the list. At least he looks decent in that casual pimp sort of way. When it comes to best dressed, Vern’s the man!

Technorati Tags: Ashlee Simpson-Wentz, Pete Wentz, Jessica Simpson, Verne Troyer, Sara Larsen, Latoya Jackson, Palms Place Hotel, Linda Hogan

A while back I wrote an article about how truly, disgustingly awful the Jonas Brothers sounded on the AMA Awards. I had never heard them sing and despite them sounding like complete crap, there were some fans that got very upset that I called them metrosexuals and cut them down when they are really nice and upstanding young men.

Of course, one of these upstanding young men dated Miley Cyrus who is becoming not as upstanding or nice as she used to be, but that’s for another day. This is something different it’s about the Jonas Brothers.

Again, I saw them perform live. This time they were on the American Idol stage. After I cleaned up my urine (I have a bad bladder when I laugh hysterically at something) I realized that maybe I wasn’t being fair. I tried to listen to them again. I say tried because I couldn’t stop giggling. Sure, I’ve heard worse. I’ve heard Chloe Latanzzi sing and in all fairness you can’t get any worse than that. However, they are a close second.

The reason I am offering this heartfelt apology is not because they suck on stage, but rather because I called them metrosexual. I see how unfair that was. I mean just look at this fine, overly-masculine outfit that Joe Jonas wore that night. It’s clearly not metrosexual. I think He-Man actually wore this in Season Two of the box set we just received. If He-Man wore it, it can’t be gay. So, I was wrong. I recant and I apologize.

You will never hear me say that the Jonas Brothers are metrosexual again. Of course, with clothes like that I won’t need to. They say everything I need to and more all on their own.

Technorati Tags: Joe Jonas, The Jonas Brothers, Apology, Miley Cryus, AMAs, American Idol, Stage, Live Performance, Metrosexual

Recently Katie Holmes had an interview to promote her new movie, Mad Money. She sat down with the Extra Crew with her co-stars Queen Latifah and Diane Keaton. Katie got a chance to talk about the intense radar that she is under in her everyday life. She responded by saying:

“What is normal for us is normal for us, and everybody has a good day and a bad day, I mean, we all have our days.”

How prolific Katie. Really. This is the woman Diane Keaton compares to Kathryn Hepburn. Please! She could only dream of being as good at acting as Hepburn’s left toe.

In the picture to the right, Katie is outside GMA this morning. WTF is she thinking? She looks like she’s a journalist spy working for Austin Powers. Actually, scratch that – he did have better taste. Is that a wig or is Tommy finally convincing her that it’s time to give all hope for a career and she needs to move into the bunker with her Scientology manual, L’s sperm jug, and get to reproducing the next set of alien babies for the benefit of our nation…or his – the Alien Nation, that is.

Technorati Tags: Katie Holmes, Fugly, GMA, Scientology, Alien Babies, L Ron Hubbard, 70s Throwback